ITS

Verizon

From Verizon:

"If you have a sufficient balance for your monthly access on the Prepaid $70 Plan or Prepaid $60 Plan, enjoy the benefits of your calling plan. If you don't have enough funds to cover you're the monthly access fee, you will be charged 25¢ per minute, 20¢ per text, 25¢ per picture or video messaging and 5¢ per MB."

Contrats

I want to call

What's the number?

Clear and concise

So, do you want abbreviations or not? This is one of the most confusing instructions I've ever seen.

Stop Requeseted

Anaheim Rapid Transit bus at Disneyland during "Excellence in Journalism" 2013 conference:

Loose weight

Hey, I keep forgetting to post that review!

After three months, it's like it never happened! And, interestingly, after three months, he no longer has buyer's remorse over the price.

Groundbreaking

Maybe they don't know what toilets are for

Bored Panda

From a fantastically funny site, boredpanda.com

The stitch

How Often?

Comfort

Well, thank you for asking. Currently I'm wearing my slippers and some stretchy, comfortable sweatpants -- so yes, I'm quite comfortable.

Video edition

NSFW

Huge kids

There's a sale on huge kids! Let's go!

Mayo for mustard

"For" means "in place of," so he's suggesting you use mayo instead of mustard in order to save calories. I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant to say.

Farther/further

I don't blame Oprah or Michael Phelps, because they speak and others write down what they say. I blame the [bad] writer.

The importance of the dash

"14" is not the same thing as "1-4", and "with meals., with meals" makes me think that maybe it should be taken with meals. Am I right?

No speeling

Gotta love translations.

It's vs its

I find it ironic that the company charged with helping the unemployed find jobs obviously hires morons for their own office.

Sideways pictures

Not all witless wonders are text-based.

This is why we need to keep Head Start

Perky books

Don't leave anyone out

Seen on a wall at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C.

Just one

You IS dumb

I think justfab.com is a repeat offender.

I hope her injurieds aren't too severe

Communnication

So many degrees!

...and yet can't write.

Hire an dating

An article I wrote about bad writers attracts bad ads.

Windows

At first I was going to blame Microsoft/Windows for being stupid -- telling us something that is uber-obvious -- but then I realized that the average user *is* stupid, and I bet they were getting sick of getting customer service complaints about choosing this option but never hearing the narrator.

Three errors in only eight words!

Does Guinness give out records for that? They should.

Tornadoes found safe?

Irony

Consiracy

Grad's

Someone needs to go back to skoole.

They Are Not Kidding Around

I Heart Apostrophe's

My Favorite Lunch

In neon!

Ad placement

Prok

Fry

Animal what?

hos·p·tial

noun

1. a medical institution where dyslexic or illiterate persons go for treatment.

Whose the writer?

Subway

From: reuters.com

I'm pretty sure everyone would assume that a "footlong" sub was a foot long, Subway.

My second-grade teacher would make you stand in a corner

It should be, 'one million'.

Part a what?

Congradulations

US's

Bad quote

I'm assuming the panel used the word, "words," not "worlds," but you never know.

Plural nouns, people.

But still, the statement is true.